Redemption
by hpdrfan1
Summary: A one shot of Snape's P.O.V throughout the 7 year span. Pairings: Snape/Lily. Enjoy, and R&R!


**A/N: Kay, well, "Redemption" is set during the seven year span, it's basically Snape's P.O.V of things…pairings: Snape/Lily, anyways, Enjoy! **

I thought I was more than prepared for his arrival. I'd had eleven years to ready myself for this moment, and as the first years came down the main aisle to be sorted, I expected to see a boy with red hair and the kind of smile that would light up a room. "Harry Potter," Minerva said aloud, and I looked up from my meal and nearly choked when I saw a small replica of James, right down to his round glasses, walking timidly up the stairs to the chair positioned in front of the Staff Table. I looked to Albus with anger and horror; he hadn't told me Harry was a miniature James. He simply smiled comfortingly to me.

I sat there, rage filling me, as Harry was sorted into Gryffindor, just like his ungrateful father. What cruel justice was this? I became worried, though it never showed. How was I to protect he who was a living, breathing reminder of the one person in my life that I hated above all others? As soon as I was able I rose and quickly escaped to my sleeping quarters.

I slammed the old wooden door, and with an angry flourish of my wand the fireplace erupted to life, lighting the barren room with golden hues. All that was here was a bed with white linens, a bookshelf, a desk, a closet, and a wooden chair. I slammed my fist onto the oak desk, screaming out. Curse the whole damn world for making that boy look like his father!

I couldn't sleep that night.

The next day the James replica was in my class, and as I began to give my traditional yearly speech I looked over to him, and his eyes met mine…my heart stopped for the briefest of seconds.

He had her eyes. Cursed Merlin, he had her eyes.

This made it worse for me. Not only did he look like the man I had despised, but I couldn't hate the child and easily break my vow, because he had the one thing that I had loved so much about his mother. I was finally in Hell, all because of a young boy who was the best and worst of all I lived for.

- - -

That night, under the cover of a sliver of moonlight, I traveled the dungeons to the location of the mirror, warding the door so none would interrupt me. I walked up the covered glass, and hastily pulled down the sheet. Before me stood a mirror cleverly disguised to look like any other. But I knew its secret; I knew the magic it held. Albus only allowed this because he knew I would not succumb completely to its spell; I would look away when it was necessary.

I stood in front of it, and the same vision that always came materialized where my reflection should be.

"I don't know if I can do this," I whispered, placing my cheek against the glass. The crimson beauty on the other side looked at me sadly, and raised a delicate porcelain hand to where my cheek rested, and I closed my eyes.

"Yes," I said, "I will do it for you."

- - -

The past five years had been a struggle. As much as I fought to protect him, I couldn't control the spite I felt towards him; especially after he had seen part of the memory that had changed everything. Of course the insufferable prat had only looked at their side of the story, used it to further validate his own hatred for me. If only he knew the truth. I often wondered, as I sat in my quarters, what he would think if he knew the whole story…if he knew the truth, could he handle it?

Tonight my thoughts were no different, especially now that I knew what I would have to do in a few hours' time. I did not want to kill Albus, we both knew that. But it had to be done, he was right about that; there was no other feasible option. It was the only way to save Draco's life and re-solidify my status within Voldemort's circle. It would mean making me look like I was never truly on his side, and the thought of people believing Albus to be wrong in trusting me made me queasy.

If Harry knew the truth, would he still see me the way his father did?

Harry will be out for blood once it happens, that much was true. Though he would never succeed, the thought that his eyes would be looking at me with the same disgust that graced her own orbs the night she walked away from me will be more than I may be able to tolerate. It was going to take all the mental discipline I had not to succumb to those eyes; to that memory.

Just after Albus left the school with Harry, I went up to the attics, where the mirror was now placed. The boy had discovered it his first year, and Albus had to move it. I pulled down the fabric and my angel appeared, and the severity of what was to happen finally hit me full force. I fell to my knees and allowed myself to cry in her presence, one of my hands reaching up and scratching silently against the glass.

"I have to kill Albus, Lily…I have to leave here, and I may never be able to come back…" I said hoarsely, her kind green irises looking down with sadness.

I looked up to my vision through raining eyes. "Forgive me, Lily…forgive me for everything I have ever done that caused you pain…please, tell me you forgive me before I commit this newest sin…All I've ever wanted to do is gain redemption from you…please…"

All she could do was kneel onto her own knees, and press her hand where mine was. I looked into her gentle gaze for as long as I could, then with a quick brush of my eyes I turned my back and ran out of the room.

- - -

"Look at Me."

Somehow I knew I would be killed, though if I were to be honest with myself, I was expecting it to be at the hands of Lupin or one of the Trio's supporters. Voldemort…as silly at it was to admit it, was not what I had planned on.

But my mission was not done, I still had to help the boy defeat his enemy, and only I held the knowledge now. Quickly I grabbed my wand and began pulling out as many memories as I could; placing them into the silver flask I had conjured. I could feel my life slowly draining from me, every second bringing me closer to my end.

I handed the flask; now filled to the brim with my memories, to the boy, and the three heroes ran out of the shack. At least they allowed me to die in peace. It was ironic, me dying in the Shrieking Shack…the place that the Mauraders had made their own all those years ago. I suppose it was poetic in a sense, to be cleansed by the blood of my own veins in the room that symbolized my hatred and pain. With the last ounce of strength I had I whispered "Expecto Patronum," And my doe appeared; my angel in disguise.

"I did what I vowed to do," I said, as I felt death creep into me. My doe knelt onto the ground, and rested its silvery head upon my bleeding neck. "I only hope, my love…I only hope you will greet me when I close my eyes this last time."

I gave one last shuddering sigh and, with a single tear falling down my now ice cold face, I surrendered to my fate; I never was one to prolong what was unavoidable.

My penance paid, my redemption achieved, I was not alone any longer.

**A/N: Well? R&R please, I need reviews! I'm starting to post a lot of HP one shots, I'll have to start an actual story soon…if you have any ideas, please PM or review! Merci!**


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